Diamond & Jewelry News, Advice and Prices for Consumers
Diamond & Jewelry News, Advice and Prices for Consumers
August 17, 2010
My sister and I are my mother's only children, and neither of us particularly minds if my father gives the jewelry to our stepmother, but I was wondering what the rules of etiquette are in this particular situation?
August 22, 2010
No way!!! That is way creepy, don't you think?? I can't imagine that your step mother would want to accept the gift of jewelry that used to belong to your mother - her husband's former partner. That's a little too close for comfort, if you know what I mean. I for one would certainly never want to walk around wearing a diamond ring or diamond earrings that used to belong to the woman my husband used to love before he knew me. Technically, I think according to law you and your sister are the ones who inherit all your mother's diamond jewelry if she did not specifically write a clause into her will bequeathing her collection of jewelry or specific pieces of jewelry to anyone in particular. Moreover, according to tradition, the jewelry should be passed down along the female line of your family - ie, to your daughters then granddaughters, and so on. Even if you are not personally interested in owning or wearing your mother's old jewelry (which i'm assuming since you mentioned that you didn't mind if your father gave your stepmom the jewelry), you should hold onto it for your daughters and grand daughters, who may feel differently and who may sincerely appreciate the opportunity to own something that has a family history and brings them closer to their your mother, whom they may have never met. Even thought I don't remember my grandmother at all (she passed away when I was one year old), I have a diamond pendant necklace that used to belong to her and it has enormous sentimental and family value for me. Plus if your father really wants to give her the gift of diamond jewelry, he should buy her jewelry that is new and that he has chosen particularly for her and according to her tastes. That would be a far more meaningful gift.
August 17, 2010
He should absolutely not pass it on to your stepmother. It belonged to your mother and should be passed to you or to your children if you have any. I cannot imagine wanting to wear the jewellry of my husbands first wife - i am sure she is a very reasonable woman and would agree with me. Has anyone asked her if she wouild want it in any case? Could be a very misguided gift from your father - he should choose something that is uniquely chosen for her as a mark of respect to both your mother and stepmother.
