My girlfriend has been dropping hints lately that she wants to get married. She's even picked out an engagement ring. I want to propose, but she's kind of ruined the surprise. Should I get her the engagement ring she picked out and forego surprises?

First of all, may I just say that your girlfriend is very forceful and knows exactly what she wants! I mean, picking out her own engagement ring before you even proposed? Classic! It's a good thing you're also interested in getting married, otherwise it would have been a one man show! OK, but all jokes aside, I don't think you realize this yet, but your girlfriend made things much easier for you. You have no idea (and probably never will) how nerve racking it is to buy an engagement ring without the faintest idea of whether your girlfriend would like it or not. So in that sense, you got your work cut out for you. You don't have to worry about whether she wants to amend it or upgrade it or replace it all together after the proposal, which could be a pain in the neck! So if I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about foregoing the surprise, but rather relieved that you have no concerns about whether she likes the engagement ring or not. Bottom line, you should be happy knowing that the engagement ring you'll propose with will be admired by your girlfriend, and don't even attempt to purchase her a different ring because it might turn out to be a big disappointment. I wish you lots of good luck on your proposal!

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Your best bet: consult her girlfriends. If she's got marriage on the mind and has even picked out an engagement ring, she's probably talked about it with her girlfriends. Who knows, they may have even checked out diamond rings together. If she had her eye on a few diamond rings - maybe she picked the least expensive one to show you in order not to sound too demanding. If she liked other engagement rings as well, her friends can probably tell you which ones. Maybe there was even an engagement ring she liked even better than the one she pointed out to you. If you got her that ring instead, it would make an excellent surprise because it would show that you really went the distance to find her the engagement ring she'd like the best. If her girlfriends insist she only liked that one specific ring - you should probably get it for her. She sounds picky, and it would be unfortunate to get her an engagement ring she didn't like. Instead, you can incorporate the surprise element in a different way. Maybe get her another present as well - of your own choosing. A spa day for two, a romantic dinner cruise, a gorgeous evening gown to wear to go out to celebrate your engagement - that will look fantastic with her new diamond ring.

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Also, it is more important to buy a ring that your future wife will love than to spend a certain amount of money on it. But if you still feel uncomfortable with the amount, then you can always spend a little more money on something else, like the day/night of your proposal or on a wedding present. Ultimately, just remember that your girlfriend went through the effort to pick out this ring herself. So perhaps, to her, having this particular ring is more important than the element of surprise or the pricetag. I would get her the ring and count your blessings.

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I completely understand where you are coming from but I think you can smile and relax because your girlfriend has ultimately done you a huge favor! Picking out a diamond engagement ring can be a daunting task. This is a major purchase and you want to get her something that she will really love and enjoy wearing every day for the rest of her life. What better way to do this than to let the woman pick out the engagement ring herself?? Many couples pick out rings together and nowadays, with the proliferation of online jewelers, more and more women are picking out, and even designing, their own engagement rings online. So you don’t have to feel badly about not picking out the ring yourself. And due to the fact that you don’t have to worry about carat size, color, cut, shapes and settings, I think you can allow yourself to let out a big sigh of relief!

And, just because your girlfriend has picked out the engagement ring that doesn’t mean you have to forego the entire element of surprise; there is still the proposal. And I imagine she doesn’t know when or how that is coming …

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