Jewelry Jokes

• Never tell a woman

  Never tell a woman she is wearing too much jewelry. You should always be politically correct and simply say she is "Metallically Overburdened"!

• Men wearing earrings

  Men wearing earrings are believed to make good husbands because they have already worked on their pain threshold.

• What's the secret ingredient for a gold soup?

  18 carrots.

• Real Gold

  A lady goes into a doctor's office and says she has a bit of an embarrassing problem. "I'll have to take off my clothes to show you", she explains. The doctor tells her to disrobe behind the curtain and waits for her to tell him when she's ready. The lady calls him over and shows her the two green circles that have appeared on the inside of her thighs. Perplexed, the doctor examines these spots and finally asks: "Is your boyfriend a Harley rider by any chance?". Surprised, the woman says "Yes! He actually is! Why do you ask?". The doctor answers: "Just tell your boyfriend that his earrings are fake, they're not real gold".

• Nipple ring piercings

  Nipple ring piercings are not only aesthetically tempting, but quite practical as well. If you happen to have short copper wire available, you'll be able to pick up pay-per-view if the weather is right! Also, you'll never have to lose your car keys ever again!

• Woman in a piercing shop

  A woman walks into a piercing shop and goes to the guy behind the counter. "I saw your poster outside saying that ear-piercing is completely painless. Is this true?". "Certainly", the guy replies, "I've pierced thousands of people and never felt a thing!".

• How much do pirates pay for a pair of diamond stud earrings?

  A buck an ear!.

• It's just a diamond earring!

  Being the most conservative guy at work, when Jo walked in the office sporting his new diamond studded hoop earring, he made quite a scene. A colleague approached him to try and question him about his unexpected fashion statement. "Don't make such a big deal out of it!", said Jo, "It's just a diamond earring!". The colleague continued: "I'm just curious to know what made you decide to pierce your ear?". Jo replied: "The fact that my wife accidently found the ring in our bed."

• What kind of gemstone does a werewolf wear?

  A moonstone!

• Cross pendant necklaces

  I really don't understand why Christians wear cross pendant necklaces around their necks. Do you think that if Jesus Christ comes back he's going to be happy seeing all these crosses in front of him? He'll be just as happy as Kennedy would if he had a rifle pendant necklace!